In all my years of hearing the Christmas story, every message I heard focussed on Mary’s faithfulness. This year, I noticed something different.

Mary didn’t have a choice. <gasp>

Mary was told what was going to happen. She wasn’t asked. She did agree with the plan, but it really wasn’t up to her.

Joseph was the one with the choice.

He had already made up his mind to divorce Mary (It wasn’t his kid she was carrying), but he chose to obey God and stand by her.

He changed his mind. He went against his gut. He went against tradition. He chose to stay. He chose to obey.

I wonder what would happen if more fathers would choose to stay and obey?

Merry Christmas

I’ve always wished funeral homes had a sign saying who’s funeral was going on.

And maybe whose was coming up soon.

Then I wouldn’t have to buy a newspaper.

Is that morbid?

Ah! Those questions we’ve been asking forever, with no definitive answer. Finally, the answer.

  • Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? – When in doubt, wash them again.
  • Does this make me look fat/slutty/ugly? – Fake a stroke.
  • Who peed on the seat? – Take one for the team and own up. You can take a beating better than the kid. Or, fake a stroke.
  • Do you want to go see <insert anyone’s name>’s new baby? – Fake a stroke. If you’ve seen one baby, you’ve seen 20.
  • Who ate my <insert name of food> for <insert name of function>? – Fake a stroke. Or, blame the kids. They get a better pass at this one. Besides, they owe you for the toilet seat deal.

Pretty much, faking a stroke works in most situations.

What other questions do you need responses for?

That’s what I’ve been giving you for the last few months. And it’s been on purpose.

I didn’t do it to hurt you. Actually, I did it to keep from hurting you.

You see, I have been hurting for the past few months, and I recognize that hurting people hurt other people. So, I went silent in an attempt to not hurt anyone – intentionally or otherwise.

I’m glad to say that I am on the upside of the healing process, and feel as though I can communicate again without pain and anger coming out.

It feels good to be back. Thanks for being patient with me.

Makes me miss Jamaica.

And Red Stripe. Hooray Beer!

And Ting.

And Reggae music.

And omelets w/ a plate of bacon and a plate of fresh pineapple.

Time for a vacation.

PS. If anyone knows where to get Ting locally, please let me know.

I’ve been following The Church of No People for a few months now, and I like what they have to say. It’s funny and insightful. The premise is what would you do or say if it wasn’t about the people, but about God.

So check them out. See what you think. If you need a little more persuasion, they’re giving away a chance to win a book, Chick-fi-A and a t-shirt, so it’s a win-win-win-win.

Don’t say I never do anything for you.

This interaction occurred from stage last night at Power Surge. (Our version of VBS)

Me: What’s in the bag?

Worker: Ding-dongs.

Kids: <hilarious laughter>

The association will be voting on our removal tomorrow night.

There are several things I’ve noticed lately that should cease to exist. They include:

  • Yellow Starburst
  • Crocs
  • Jon and Kate Plus 8 (seriously. enough.)
  • Vanity plates (“LIL SXY” is neither little, nor sexy.)
  • Clothes for dogs
  • Shoes for newborns
  • Girl jeans for boys
  • Psychics and those who call into their radio shows
  • Anything labelled as “diet” or “lowfat”
  • Parking spaces for compact cars
  • Liver

I’m working on a “Things that need to exist” list for next week.

Until then, what have I missed?

Good morning, world! Happy Thursday. Here’s a few random things in my head right now:

  • Joshua is learning that being a stunt man is hard work. That is evident by the four large bandages covering what used to be skin.
  • KFC chocolate cake is unbelievably good. But their chickens seem to have shrunk. Perhaps I have grown.
  • Is it just me, or is every hitman an undercover cop? If I ever need to whack somebody, I’m doing it myself. Right after I become an undercover cop.
  • My wifestarted blogging. The world will officially end tomorrow. So hurry up and check it out.
  • I want a flats boat. I’m buying an AC instead. Seems fair.
  • While eating boiled peanuts, I lost one. I found it when it rolled down my leg while at the urinal. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I was at the urinal.

What’s going on in your head right now?

A few weeks ago I wrote this post about my six-hundred and sixty-sixth comment. I asked if anyone freaks out about that number or not. The three of you that commented didn’t freak about it, it was just a number.

I could care less about the number, but I think we need to be careful not to be too quick to dismiss supernatural things. If we give something enough focus and attention, it can become powerful. Just ask the media.

BTW – I believe the data is skewed, since the 663 people who are freaked out by the number-which-shall-not-be-spoken wouldn’t dare comment on a post about 25.806975 squared.

(Did you see what I did there with the numbers? 3 comments, 663 didn’t? 25.806975×25.806975? Clever.)