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Good morning, world! Happy Thursday. Here’s a few random things in my head right now:

  • Joshua is learning that being a stunt man is hard work. That is evident by the four large bandages covering what used to be skin.
  • KFC chocolate cake is unbelievably good. But their chickens seem to have shrunk. Perhaps I have grown.
  • Is it just me, or is every hitman an undercover cop? If I ever need to whack somebody, I’m doing it myself. Right after I become an undercover cop.
  • My wifestarted blogging. The world will officially end tomorrow. So hurry up and check it out.
  • I want a flats boat. I’m buying an AC instead. Seems fair.
  • While eating boiled peanuts, I lost one. I found it when it rolled down my leg while at the urinal. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I was at the urinal.

What’s going on in your head right now?


I was talking to my little girl, Riley, yesterday. She had a scratch on her lip and I wanted to know how it happened. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Baby-girl, what happened to your lip.

Riley: Oh, a bird bit me.

Me: A bird bit you?!

Riley: Yes, an osprey.

Wow! So later that day, we were all in the car and I was telling my wife about the osprey. I decided to ask Riley again what happened.

Me: Baby-girl, tell Mommy what happened to your lip.

Riley: Oh, a possum scratched me.

Me: A possum scratched you?! I thought it was an osprey.

Riley: No, a possum. At the Library.

I think it’s safe to say Riley is one of those creative types. I can’t wait for the invisible friends to move in.

…but when I drive by a funeral home with a viewing going on, I wish they had a sign saying who died.

And if it was a really important person, maybe one of those 4-way skylight batman deals.

Anyway, that’s what goes through my head.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirates of the Indian Ocean

This photo provided by the US Navy shows some of the Somali ...

Somehow life doesn’t imitate art.

Here’s five for Friday. Enjoy.

  • Hurricane Ikelooks like a bad mamma-jamma. I like hurricanes, but this one has me slightly concerned. Anyone remember what he did to Tina Turner?
  • Going to Rock the Universe tonight with some teens from church. I promise it will be a blast. Possibly soggy, but a blast nonetheless.
  • My wife is feeling better. Finally. Thank you Sweet Baby Jesus. I could never be a single parent. My props to those who are.
  • My feet are feeling a little gay. That’s all I have to say about that for now. Perhaps a picture will follow.
  • Riley, my 2-year old, just called to see if I would take her to the park. My wife has no knowledge of the call. I may hire Riley to be my assistant.

Happy Friday.

It’s the first of the month again, and you know what that means. Government checks! Oh, no, I mean Link Love. That time when I give a shout out to the top 5 people who gave me a shout out last month and sent me the most traffic.

Timm Collins – Steady at the top of Link Love once again. He’s been at the top since I started Link Love. Can anyone dethrone him? Tune in next month to find out…….

Blue Room Worthy – Also known as Travis Thompson. Or #2 at RPC. Ironically, he’s been in the #2 spot on Link Love all three months, although he had some stiff opposition from #3.

Pinky68 – Climbing one spot from last month, she was only one link away from #2. So close, yet so far.

Tabby Bottoms– She disappeared last month, but reappeared and gained a spot. It may have had something to do with the Spongebob joke, I’m not sure.

Emily.the.Strange – Previously holding strong at #3 the last two months. I feel our friendship waning.

Honorable Mention – Although this post is dedicated to actual people, I must give a shout out to my friends over at A&E. Their Intervention series, specifically the one on Emily from season 4, has sent me 258 visitors last month. That’s as much as this month’s top 5 combined! Thanks A&E and Emily.

That’s it for this month. Be sure to check out the links here, and tell them I sent you. Check back next month to see if Timm and Travis stay 1 & 2, and if Emily drops out of the top 5. I can hardly wait.

I did a post like this a while back entitled “You Got Here How?” showing some of the weird searches that brought people to my site. Well, I’ve gathered a few more and couldn’t wait to share them with you.

holier than thou-stop – Makes me wanna collaborate and listen.

what are words to song “i love you a bus – I don’t know, but I bet they’re just swell. And it’s probably better than loving someone a moped.

glitter – I imagine someone trying to find Mariah Carey’s blog and reaching me.

michael matthews work at home – This is the sign from God that I have been looking for. BTW, God, there’s only one “t” in Mathews.

“1/4 japanese” – Represent’in.

andy stanley – Imagine the disappointment (or surprise) when they searched for Andy Stanley and found me.

how to change mike and marry voice – #1 I’m not changing. #2 Who’s this “voice” fellow?

emily thompson flowers – They weren’t from me. I promise.

emily intervention update – Really?

intervention emily update – Wow.

intervention update on emily – Again?

emily 26, intervention update – I see a trend here.

emily update from intervention – Sorry about Emily and her problems, but I appreciate the traffic.

problem he wants me but not my kids – This is strangely random.

two different shoes fashion shows – Josh has found his calling! Little Mr. Two Shoes, here we come.

Which one is your favorite?


My son, Joshua, has turned into a bit of a fashion rebel. It started a few months ago when he started popping his collar. (that would be turning it up, Elvis-style, for those less cool than I) I don’t know where he got this from, since I only tried it twice before I received a citation from the cool police. And, if you turn them back down, he will revolt and pop them again.

Well, that phase has passed right now, as he is on a new trend. One that I haven’t seen for as long as I can remember (which is about 12 minutes). Now Josh is wearing two different shoes. This is what he wore last week:


A note: Josh’s fashion sense changes quickly. It’s very possible that by the time this posts the concept of wearing two different shoes will be stale. He may have moved on, leaving the rest of us to either catch up or scratch our heads.

I’ve been nice lately. If you know me, you know this is not like me.

1) I’ve been saying Thank You.I wrote a thank you e-mail to the Jays first-baseman who tossed Josh a game ball. I also sent a hand-written thank you note to Josh’s pre-school teacher. #1- Both of these gentlemen did something great for my son. #2- Teachers don’t get near the appreciation they deserve. Especially good teachers. #3- Being in the ministry, I understand what it’s like to be in a thankless position, AND I understand the power of a thank you note. If someone’s done something great for you, let them know.

2) I’ve been generous lately.I bought lunch for the office. I took lunch to Josh’s teachers. Twice. I had the opportunity to help someone greatly and anonymously.  Greatnonymously. This isn’t like me. I’m selfish. I have a plan for my money. And it normally doesn’t include giving it away.

So why, you ask, the sudden change in personality? I don’t know. Perhaps it is our current series at RidgePoint Church, In the Zone. Maybe I’ve decided that God has blessed me so greatly that I want to bless others. Or I’ve decided to become a better steward of the things in which God has entrusted to me.

Whatever it is, it’s contagious. And I like it. You should try it. Sometimes it is only when you have given your life away that you truly live.

I came home from work last night tired and with a headache THIS big. Our church leadership meeting was cancelled, so I had a free evening. Until I saw the stream of water flowing from the garage. We don’t live on the river, and according to the paper we are in a drought. After some Scooby-Doo detective work, thum-thum-thum a cluuuue! The water heater was leaking. Not good. I found the old paperwork and it turns out that it lasted 11 years and 2 days. And there was a 10 year warranty. The way I see it, I stuck it to them for 367 days.

$315 and a few hours later, it was fixed. Thank God for friends like Bobby. He came by and gave me a hand and had some useful tools. Now I’ve got to apologize to the kids for being a pain in the butt last night.

What kind of surprises have greeted you lately?

April 2018
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