Things that should cease to exist

There are several things I’ve noticed lately that should cease to exist. They include:

• Yellow Starburst
• Crocs
• Jon and Kate Plus 8 (seriously. enough.)
• Vanity plates (“LIL SXY” is neither little, nor sexy.)
• Clothes for dogs
• Shoes for newborns
• Girl jeans for boys
• Psychics and those who call into their radio shows
• Anything labelled as “diet” or “lowfat”
• Parking spaces for compact cars
• Liver

I’m working on a “Things that need to exist” list for next week.

Until then, what have I missed?

Monday Morning Observations

Good Morning! I’ve had a few random things on my mind that I needed to share with everyone.

• Banana pancakes (Inspired by Jack Johnson) taste better fresh on Sunday morning than stale on Monday. (But they make better Frisbees on Monday.)
• Why are slip-n-slides shorter than they used to be? Smaller residential lots? Change in the coefficient of friction of skin to wet plastic? More sandspurs and acorns?
• People who have their cars painted like Dale Earnhardt’s #3 Chevy Monte Carlo sponsored by Goodwrench Plus should be neutered drive faster than 40 MPH. (They do know he’s dead, right?)
• Why do they make shoes for newborns? And why do said shoes have tread on the soles?

Whew! I feel better now.

Note: All questions are rhetorical, but feel free to respond.

It's 7:30 in the morning.

Why is this guy carrying a 12 pack of Natural Light down the street?

I guess that’s one way to start a Monday.

Perhaps he’s stimulating the economy.

Any thoughts?

Observations

I’ve made a few observations the past few weeks. Don’t throw rocks, they’re just what I have observed and processed in my head.

1. Opening presents at the park either means a birthday party OR it’s Christmas and you live with your momma but not your baby’s momma.
2. The meanest old ladies are part of the Ice Skate Rental Union.
3. People read blogs at work.
4. People write blogs at work.
5. When people are on vacation, nothing gets written or read.
6. WordPress spellcheck doesn’t recognize blogs, WordPress, or spellcheck as a words. Strangely ironic.

What have you observed lately?